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November 05, 2006

Catching up with Terry Jones

I hadn't checked Terry Jones' opinion articles in some time. Catching up all at once has been a pleasure I'd like to share with you. Here are links to these articles in the Guardian, along with a small quote to tease you there.

A man-made tsunami

So, are deaths caused by bombs and gunfire less worthy of our pity than deaths caused by a giant wave? Or are Iraqi lives less worth counting than Indonesian, Thai, Indian and Swedish?

Vote Draino

I put it to him that his policy had been a disaster. "You said you were bombing Iraq to make Britain safer," I said, "and yet the only terrorist threat to the UK now comes from those in the Islamic world who object to you bombing Iraq."

God: I've lost faith in Blair

"If Tony Blair thinks his friendship with George W Bush is worth rubbing out a couple of hundred thousand Iraqi men, women and children, then that's something he can talk over with me later," said God. "But when he starts publicly claiming that's the way I do the arithmetic too, it's time I put my foot down!" It is well known that God has a very big foot.

A splendid achievement

Of course, your unstinting efforts to make torture an internationally accepted aspect of human life have surpassed everything we could have ever hoped for. I don't think there is a single member of the league who could have imagined, six short years ago, that our activities in tormenting our fellow creatures would once again be recognised as acceptable, civilised behaviour, as it once was in the middle ages.

Julius Caesar had Gaul; Bush just has gall

It seems that, as commander-in-chief, George W Bush instructed his soldiers not to count the enemy dead. So the fact that he still sticks to an estimate of only 30,000 dead Iraqis, even when a recently published study in the Lancet suggests he's slaughtered at least 655,000, can only be the result of his extraordinary modesty.

Even the comments are good. Here's an example from "A splendid achievement"

As an American, I officially invite all you Brits to cheer us on at our third attempt at democracy in this century!

I'm proud to announce that more than half of our electorate may show up to the polls this year. This is an awesome achievement. Despite all our political infighting, many of us will show up to make another valiant attempt at choosing which of two people we want to represent us. Through our get-out-the-vote efforts, our upper-middle class, conservative turnout may reach a whopping 65%! In 2004, Afghanistan managed to get 69% of its total population to vote, but who can blame them? They're a fledgling, war-torn democracy.

True to our steadfast pioneer roots, even though there's no guarantee our votes will be counted, we will still be there. Despite the fact that experts have expressed doubts about the accuracy of our digital voting machines, we will use them to try to show you who we want to govern ourselves. But if you want proof, you'll have to go elsewhere, because, unlike grocery store cash registers, we're so confident in these machines that we don't need receipts!

Dark humor for dark times....

Now pull yourself together and go vote on Tuesday.

Posted by cjennings at 11:55 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack